Children’s Books
The Ballad of Shirtless Lou
Happy May the Fourth, everyone! In the spirit of this Star Wars-themed quasi-holiday, I wanted to share a Star Wars-themed story. A few years ago, I wrote a LEGO Star Wars book called The Official Stormtrooper Training Manual, which was published by Scholastic in 2016. I decided to write it from the POV of a stormtrooper. So the idea is that an ordinary, lunkheaded stormtrooper is narrating the book. On the section of the book which deals with the “AT-AT” vehicles, I wrote the following joke (among many others):
“The AT-AT is often the first thing sent into a combat zone. The LAST thing sent onto a combat zone is a stormtrooper named ‘Shirtless Lou,’ who has the words WE WON painted on his belly.”
And I didn’t think anything more of the joke after that. Like I said, it was just one of many jokes I jammed into a very joke-heavy book.
But then, years later, while looking through the comments section on the book’s Amazon page (why I was doing that I don’t really know, it’s not a healthy thing to do), I saw the following comment from a parent:
“The text is full of silly jokes that crack my 5 year old Star Wars superfan up. There’s a reference to ‘Shirtless Lou,’ the last stormtrooper to go into battle, that made him laugh so hard that I ordered the Batman-in-swimsuit minifigure and swapped that torso with a stormtrooper so he could have his own Shirtless Lou, and he plays with him all the time. Shirtless Lou is always doing something silly during stormtrooper training and causing Captain Phasma all kinds of headaches.”
Reading that totally made my day. I was – and still am – very happy that somebody appreciated The Official Stormtrooper Training Manual enough to write such a flattering comment about it. And now I’m just upset that I never pitched a “Shirtless Lou” spin-off book, because apparently there’s at least one kid out there who’d read that book.
But the saga of Shirtless Lou doesn’t end there.
Later on, I noticed that someone decided to give Shirtless Lou his own entry in Wookieepedia, the (crowd-sourced, fan-edited) Star Wars Wiki. Here’s the Wookieepedia description of Shirtless Lou:
“Lou, nicknamed ‘Shirtless Lou,’ was a human male stormtrooper of the Galactic Empire. He was considered to be the last thing sent into combat zones, as he had the words ‘WE WON’ painted on his belly.”
Which is…fine. I mean, Shirtless Lou’s Wookieepedia entry is totally accurate, in a way. It never mentions that The Official Stormtrooper Training Manual is a humor book, which is kind of an important detail to leave out, but whatever. Again, I’m just flattered that somebody at Wookieepedia mentioned Shirtless Lou.
I guess my point is that my little one-off joke about Shirtless Lou was apparently a good one, because people seem to have taken notice of it. And as a writer, sometimes you never know which stories (or jokes) people will respond to, and which ones they’ll ignore.
Also, if they somehow work Shirtless Lou into the Ahsoka Disney Plus series, or the fourth season of The Mandalorian, that little shirtless dude will have truly made the big time.
Milton Makes Things!
For a little over a year now, I’ve been writing children’s stories for a company called Chapter One. (I talked about it in an earlier blog post.) You can find my stories on the Chapter One website, in the Global Free Library section, which is an online collection of stories and materials that celebrate the world’s diversity.
One of my more recent Chapter One stories is called “Milton Makes Things.” I think it may have just gone live on the Global Free Library yesterday, so I wanted to spread the word about it. “Milton Makes Things” was illustrated by the amazing Monique Parlevliet, and you can read it right HERE.
And if you scroll down on that page, you can also see a few of the other Chapter One stories I’ve written.
Here’s the official description of “Milton Makes Things,” from the Chapter One site:
“Milton helps the environment by making old things into new things. He specializes in making these new things out of paper. Soon, there’s a mile-long line of children who want him to make them one of his ultra-stylish paper creations!”
I’ve also made short videos for all of the Chapter One stories I’ve written. In these videos, I explain what inspired me to write the story in question. You can see the “Milton Makes Things” video once you scroll down after reading the story of the same name. But you can also see the “Milton Makes Things” video right here:
Monique Parlevliet, who illustrated “Milton Makes Things,” also made a video about the story, and it’s really great. In Monique’s video, she talks about how much she identifies with the Milton character. You can check out her video on the “Milton Makes Things” page of the Chapter One site (it’s right next to my video for that story). But I’ve also put Monique’s video right here:
One last thing I wanted to mention about “Milton Makes Things”: When I was writing that story, I did quite a bit of research into cardboard furniture, cardboard toys, and all of the other cardboard stuff Milton makes. I wanted the story to be somewhat grounded and realistic, so I thought I’d see whether it was really possible to create (for example) a cardboard chair which is sturdy enough for an adult (or even a child) to sit in. Turns out that it’s very possible.
I’m explaining all of this because I want to make it clear that everything Milton makes in this story – whether it’s a cardboard table, a cardboard marionette, or a cardboard bookshelf – is something you can actually make out of cardboard. If you build it a certain way, that is. And as with almost anything in life, it’s largely about planning and designing it carefully, so that it’ll actually work in the way you’ve intended.
Great Scott! The Back to the Future Little Golden Book Is Out NOW!
Hey, everybody! Happy New Year, aka Happy two days after Public Domain Day, aka Happy December 34th! (It would be December 34th, if it wasn’t for stupid January. Thanks for nothing, January!) Guess what? I have some news!
Over the past several years, I’ve written quite a few Little Golden Books for Penguin Random House. Some of them are adaptations of famous movies. Most recently, I wrote The Back to the Future Little Golden Book, which came out today from PRH.
As you may have guessed based on the title, it’s an adaptation of the classic 1985 film Back to the Future, written as a Little Golden Book for very young readers.
Back to the Future is one of my favorite movies and I saw it SO many times when I was a kid (ask me some time about my childhood theory that the movie is a loose adaptation of The Hobbit). So it was a real thrill to write this book.
The Back to the Future Little Golden Book was illustrated by the brilliant Meg Dunn.
And much like The E.T. Little Golden Book (which I also wrote), The BTTF LGB is not just a Little Golden Book, but a Funko Pop Little Golden Book! That means that Meg Dunn drew all of the characters in the iconic, super-adorable Funko Pop style.
Also…
Check out the book’s page on the Penguin Random House site.
Check out the Amazon page for the book.
And you can buy it via the official Back to the Future site.
Find out more about some of the other books I’ve written for Penguin Random House.