humor
A Truly Monstrous Portfolio
Before I was a professional writer, I was a cartoonist. That is, a gag cartoonist. I used to draw one-panel gag cartoons for a variety of publications. Hey, who knows? I may even start drawing cartoons again. I might even end up doing that soon. Maybe sooner than you think. Am I trying to hint at some upcoming project that hasn’t been announced yet? Maybe. Then again, maybe not. But if the answer IS yes, you’ll hear about it first on this site. Until then, I weary of this game, this charade, where I act all cagey and weird and evade giving direct answers to questions I myself have posed. I mean, what am I doing here? Arguing with myself over hypothetical nonsense? That is not the purpose of this blog post. The purpose of this post is…something to do with cartoons. (I’m pretty sure of it.) Also, today is Halloween, and I’ve drawn quite a few cartoons about monsters. Speaking of which…
The other day, I was going through a batch of my old cartoons, and I thought I’d post some of my personal favorites. Some of these were published, and others were not. Does publishing them on my website now make them “published”? I don’t know. The Internet is a vast untamed wilderness. (Um…yay?) Anyway, let’s get into it, shall we? Yes, we shall:
Okay, so this “Mr. Potato Salad” cartoon was first published in the August 2008 issue of Nickelodeon Magazine. I drew this during a period when I was obsessed – OBSESSED, I tell you! – with Mr. Potato Head, and I drew a whole slew of cartoons involving that little plastic tuber with the interchangeable facial features. Some day, I’ll post them all here. But that day is not today! Moving on…
This “Vampire Nerds” cartoon was published in the October 2006 issue of Nickelodeon Magazine. (That was the Halloween issue. But you probably already realized that.)
And this “Creature of the Blue Bayou” cartoon was published in The Fortean Times, a magazine from the UK which is all about strange phenomena like UFOs and Bigfoot sightings. Notice the “Arie Kaplan” credit typed in really small print along the lower left-hand side of the panel. You’ll ALSO notice that I didn’t specify WHEN this cartoon was published. As in, what year. That’s because it was published a LONG time ago. And of course, to fully understand and appreciate this cartoon, you have to know who Roy Orbison was. (He was a rock star. Google him. It’s okay, I’ll wait.) You also have to know that there was once a really popular Roy Orbison song called “Blue Bayou,” and that this is a cartoon depicting Roy Orbison as the titular “Creature of the Blue Bayou” (a pun on the classic horror film Creature From the Black Lagoon). But you understood that, right? Right? (Right?)
This “Ship In A Bottle/Ask For Directions” cartoon was published in the August 2008 issue of Nickelodeon Magazine. Yup, the same issue that also featured my “Mr. Potato Salad” cartoon. Now, this “Ship In A Bottle” cartoon was published in color when it appeared in Nick Mag. But I can’t seem to find the color version of the files for this cartoon. All I could find is this scan of the black and white line art. So the B&W version will have to do for the time being. Anyway, you’re probably asking yourself, “What’s ‘monstrous’ about this one?” And the answer is, “Not much, really.” But it does seem like the kind of cartoon Rod Serling would draw, if Rod Serling drew cartoons. It’s a bit Twilight Zone-ish. And people watch Twilight Zone episodes on Halloween (sometimes). Is that a stretch? Yes it is. I don’t care. This is my website, after all. If I want to post it here, I get to post it! Get off of my back! Geez! Moving on…
This “Frankenstein/Boy Scout” cartoon is unpublished (well, as of this writing, anyway – again, unless posting it on my site COUNTS as publishing it). Why is it unpublished? I honestly never submitted it to very many places for possible publication. Which honestly, I regret. But hey, maybe I’ll send it around and see if I CAN get it published, because I really like it. And I know that the monster is not actually NAMED “Frankenstein,” he’s just “Frankenstein’s Monster.” But the boy scout can’t say “Frankenstein’s Monster, no!” Why? It’s too wordy. Nobody talks like that. He’d say “Frankenstein, no!” It just flows better, as a line of dialogue.
Okay, I don’t even know where this “Monsterfont” cartoon would even be published. I mean, there’s no real gag or joke here; it’s just a font where each letter is also a monster. I think I submitted this to Nickelodeon Magazine back in the day, but it was rejected. And obviously, I don’t blame them for rejecting it. As I said, there’s no real gag or joke here. But even still, I have a soft spot in my heart for “Monsterfont.” I just like it, okay? I wish it was a real font.
And that’s it! Those are all the monster-themed cartoons I’m sharing today. I’ll probably put up another blog post at some future date where I’ll share some of my other cartoons (both monster-themed and otherwise). But this is it for now. What did you think? Feel free to let me know, either via email or if you see me in person. Or by carrier pigeon! Or message in a bottle maybe? The whole “message in a bottle” thing could make a comeback. You never know!
BTW, if you’re reading this on the day I’m posting it (October 31, 2025), I hope you’re having a Happy Halloween!
Hey, Check It Out: I Wrote a Joke Book!
As you may know, in addition to my work as a children’s book author, I’m also a television comedy writer. And for quite some time now, I’ve wanted to write a children’s joke book, which seemed like it would be a nice way to combine those two disparate sides of my career: the “kid lit” side and the “joke writer” side. Call it a short-term goal. Well, a few months ago, I got a chance to realize that goal.
That’s because I wrote a children’s book called The Bad Guys Joke Book, which will be published by Scholastic on July 1st, 2025.
Now, I should mention a couple of things, just because I don’t want to give you the wrong idea here: This book is not set in the world of the Bad Guys books written by Aaron Blabey. It is set in the world of the Bad Guys animated movies (and Netflix specials) which are based on those books.
You also might’ve noticed that the book is coming out on July 1st, just a few short weeks before the Bad Guys 2 movie opens. (That movie comes out on August 1st.) Does this book tie into that movie in any direct way? I’m afraid I can’t quite answer that question at this early date. You’ll have to read the book to find out!
And in the meantime, here’s the official publisher description of the book:
Get ready to laugh out loud with Mr. Wolf, Mr. Snake, Ms. Tarantula, Mr. Piranha, and Mr. Shark! Packed with puns, funny fill-ins, limericks, and so much more, this joke book is the perfect companion to the Bad Guys Movie 2.
The Bad Guys Joke Book is available for preorder HERE, HERE, and HERE.
But if you click the link to the Scholastic Kids site – aka the third “HERE” link directly above – you’ll have to scroll down on that link to find The Bad Guys Joke Book, which is listed on that website as “Bad Guys Movie 2 Joke Book.” That’s the way it’s listed on most other book-related websites as well. I think the folks at Scholastic phrased it that way in the listings on these websites in order to make it clear that this joke book is set in the continuity of the Bad Guys movies, and also to remind readers that it’s coming out roughly around the same time as the second Bad Guys film. After all, as the official publisher description says, this book is the perfect companion to that movie!
I couldn’t agree more.
Early Reviews Are In!
Two of my upcoming books – The Encyclopedia of Epic Myths and Legends and The Day I Became a Potato Pancake – were recently reviewed by prominent publications. Now, if they were negative reviews, I’d pretend they didn’t exist. But they are in fact positive reviews, so I acknowledge their existence wholeheartedly!
First, there’s a glowing write-up of The Encyclopedia of Epic Myths and Legends in Kirkus Reviews. The critic who reviewed my book said that it was “A revealing study of ways in which mythology is still very much with us,” and that it “offers a broad perspective and unusually rich and stimulating parallels.” Click HERE to read the whole review.
The Encyclopedia of Epic Myths and Legends comes out in October. So does The Day I Became a Potato Pancake, which is a children’s graphic novel that was written by yours truly and illustrated by the incredible Beilin Xu.
And if you’ve guessed that the second write-up concerns The Day I Became a Potato Pancake, you guessed right, because that book got a fantastic review in Publishers Weekly. And just in case you don’t have a subscription to Publishers Weekly and therefore cannot read the review, here it is:
Young inventor Naomi Hirsch and her best friend Ben Sherman love playing with her scientist mother’s inventions, like the hologram simulation program. But when they break into Professor Hirsch’s lab after being banned, they find something even more powerful: the Transfogram, “an experimental machine” that accidentally turns Ben into a human-sized latke. Naomi’s mother endeavors to develop an antidote before Ben’s transformation becomes permanent at sundown on the first night of Hanukkah, but Ben’s sudden boost in popularity among his classmates makes him reluctant to be human again. Kaplan (96 Facts About Bad Bunny) maintains gravitas amid silly circumstances by utilizing emotional dialogue centered on character relationships and growth. Singaporean illustrator Xu’s brightly colored art showcases facial expressions that emphasize the struggle between knowing what’s right and letting go of something that makes one feel special. This speculative, character-focused graphic novel highlights aspects of Jewish identity and culture through multiple lenses to craft a goofy
yet nuanced read. Naomi and (human) Ben have tan skin. Back matter includes an art activity. Ages 7–9. (Oct.) —Publisher’s Weekly
Pretty cool, eh?
And if you DO have a subscription, HERE is the link to the review on the PW site.
The Encyclopedia of Epic Myths and Legends will be published by Quarto on October 8th, 2024, and The Day I Became a Potato Pancake comes out from Behrman House on October 15th, 2024. You can pre-order both books now!