Hey, everybody! Happy New Year, aka Happy two days after Public Domain Day, aka Happy December 34th! (It would be December 34th, if it wasn’t for stupid January. Thanks for nothing, January!) Guess what? I have some news!
Over the past several years, I’ve written quite a few Little Golden Books for Penguin Random House. Some of them are adaptations of famous movies. Most recently, I wrote The Back to the Future Little Golden Book, which came out today from PRH.
As you may have guessed based on the title, it’s an adaptation of the classic 1985 film Back to the Future, written as a Little Golden Book for very young readers.
Back to the Future is one of my favorite movies and I saw it SO many times when I was a kid (ask me some time about my childhood theory that the movie is a loose adaptation of The Hobbit). So it was a real thrill to write this book.
The Back to the FutureLittle Golden Book was illustrated by the brilliant Meg Dunn.
And much like The E.T. Little Golden Book (which I also wrote), The BTTF LGB is not just a Little Golden Book, but a Funko Pop Little Golden Book! That means that Meg Dunn drew all of the characters in the iconic, super-adorable Funko Pop style.
You know what? It’s Hanukkah! So I figured I’d talk about Hanukkah! No, not Hanukkah the holiday; Hanukkah the MOVIE. See, there’s a horror film that came out a few years ago called Hanukkah. It’s a slasher movie about Hanukkah, and they decided to CALL the movie Hanukkah. Which is a terrible title for a Hanukkah-themed horror movie. It’s so unimaginative! I mean, couldn’t they come up with a better title than…Hanukkah? It doesn’t even SOUND like a horror movie title.
I know that some of you reading this might be thinking, “Oh yeah, Arie? You think you can do any better? You think YOU can come up with a better title?”
And here’s my answer: Challenge accepted! I decided to come up with a list of BETTER titles for a Hanukkah-themed horror movie. I gave myself a few minutes to accomplish the task, and here are the titles I came up with:
Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel, I Made You Out of SLAY
Fried-Dough the 13th
Mr. President, Those Latkes Are Alive!
Gelt By Association
Killer Kleins from Outer Space
A Great Miracle Happened SCARE!
Macca-Beat You To Death
Jelly Donuts from Hell!
The Discount Pair of Men’s Slacks That Wouldn’t Die
Death Dreidels: Dreidels of Death
The House of Wax…Menorah Candles
Tales from the Dark Sidelman
Catskills Resort Massacre
The Wrath of Cohen
There. ANY of those are a better title than Hanukkah. So if you’re reading this and you’re a film producer, and you want me to write a Hanukkah-themed horror screenplay to go with any of the above titles, you know where to find me. (Um, via the “Contact” page of this website. Or just email me at firstname.lastname@example.org That’s where you can find me.)