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Hey, I Came Up With Some Title Ideas for a Hanukkah-Themed Horror Movie
You know what? It’s Hanukkah! So I figured I’d talk about Hanukkah! No, not Hanukkah the holiday; Hanukkah the MOVIE. See, there’s a horror film that came out a few years ago called Hanukkah. It’s a slasher movie about Hanukkah, and they decided to CALL the movie Hanukkah. Which is a terrible title for a Hanukkah-themed horror movie. It’s so unimaginative! I mean, couldn’t they come up with a better title than…Hanukkah? It doesn’t even SOUND like a horror movie title.
I know that some of you reading this might be thinking, “Oh yeah, Arie? You think you can do any better? You think YOU can come up with a better title?”
And here’s my answer: Challenge accepted! I decided to come up with a list of BETTER titles for a Hanukkah-themed horror movie. I gave myself a few minutes to accomplish the task, and here are the titles I came up with:
- Judah Maccabeast
- Dreidel Dreidel Dreidel, I Made You Out of SLAY
- MenoraaaaaaAAAAGGGHHH!
- The Whining
- Fried-Dough the 13th
- Mr. President, Those Latkes Are Alive!
- Gelt By Association
- Killer Kleins from Outer Space
- A Great Miracle Happened SCARE!
- Macca-Beat You To Death
- Jelly Donuts from Hell!
- The Discount Pair of Men’s Slacks That Wouldn’t Die
- Death Dreidels: Dreidels of Death
- The House of Wax…Menorah Candles
- Kvellraiser
- Skullcaps
- Tales from the Dark Sidelman
- Catskills Resort Massacre
- Menorah-morphosis
- The Wrath of Cohen
- Burial Plotz
- Salem’s Latke
There. ANY of those are a better title than Hanukkah. So if you’re reading this and you’re a film producer, and you want me to write a Hanukkah-themed horror screenplay to go with any of the above titles, you know where to find me. (Um, via the “Contact” page of this website. Or just email me at arie@ariekaplan.com That’s where you can find me.)
My Favorite Kind of Vampires
Happy Halloween, everyone! As I mentioned in a previous blog post, I used to draw one-panel gag cartoons. Like, professionally. Only for a handful of magazines, and really just at the beginning of my writing career. These days I mostly work as a writer, and I don’t draw that much, unless you count the rough thumbnail sketches I draw for nearly every project I work on. Which definitely counts as drawing. But I don’t often show those sketches to the people I’m working with (although sometimes, I do).
Anyway, since it’s Halloween, I thought I’d post one of the gag cartoons I drew back in the day. It’s called “Vampire Nerds,” and it was originally published in the October 2006 issue of Nickelodeon Magazine. (That was the Halloween issue, as if you couldn’t tell by the cover date.) Check it out:
Obviously, vampire nerds are my favorite kind of bloodsuckers, because I myself am a massive geek. (Which you could probably tell by the fact that I write graphic novels about mythical creatures, children’s book adaptations of famous sci-fi movies, TV scripts about fairy tale characters, and scripts for uber-nerdy video games. But I digress…)
I may begin drawing cartoons again (like, professionally), because I really miss it. If that does indeed happen, I’ll definitely mention it on this blog. So keep checking this space!
“Dame Time: Ogden” Livestream Walkthrough
Check out this livestream walkthrough of Dame Time: Ogden! I wrote the story bible, plot outline, and character dialogue for the game. The walkthrough starts at the 7:40 mark!
The Sandbox Wednesday Stream – Playing “DameTime: 0gden” with @KamiSawZe and @LukusIsRight https://t.co/aICdPbml0h
— The Sandbox (@TheSandboxGame) October 5, 2022